Yesterday I made the decision to take down all of the condolence cards that I'd received and put them away somewhere safe. It was a hugely emotional experience for me, but, with Easter upon us, it seemed a good time to start focussing on new life.... the new life that Suzie has now begun, and the new chapter of my own life, whatever that might be. My hope is that this will help to turn my focus away from the sorrow of loss, and enable me to embrace the beauty of Suzie's living presence and love within me, and focus on all the happy memories that we shared during our lifetime together.
Throughout this 'Holy Week' I've found that the truth and meaning of Christ's suffering and death has taken on a profound significance as I recognise that Suzie has now received that gift of new life and eternal salvation joy for which Jesus paid so dearly. As I anticipate Easter Sunday tomorrow, and all that it offers as we are drawn to celebrate Christ's victory over sin and death, I can't help but thank God that Suzie is already experiencing the joy and peace of that victory. She has been made new, pure and whole, and she's been set free from the bondage of this world. Despite my ongoing and intense sadness as I so desperately miss her physical presence in my life, and even now as tears begin to fall yet again as I type, there is a faint glow of warmth and peace in my heart as I embrace the truth and reality of what the death of Suzie's physical body means for her. Her pain and tears are gone for ever. She has been made new. She is experiencing a level of joy, peace and happiness that is beyond anything we could ever imagine. That is what Jesus bought for us by His immense suffering, His agonising death and His victorious resurrection. That is what we celebrate on Easter Sunday. That is the free gift He offers to all who will accept it.
I hold on to the comfort that, one day, I will share that experience with my Suzie.