The last few days have been very 'up and down' with some very precious and beautifully peaceful moments of calm, and some less welcome times of extreme anxiety and distress. When I arrived this morning Suzie was particularly distressed and her breathing was alarmingly bad. As the day went on she became calmer, but this evening she was very unsettled. It took over two hours for me to get her comfortable in bed and settled enough to leave her. It was suggested by one of the staff that it might be beneficial for Suzie if I were to stay overnight, but after discussion with the senior nurse it was agreed that this wouldn't be sustainable for any length of time and maybe should be kept as a 'safety net' option, with the assurance that they could call me any time of the night and I would come straight over. I made it clear that I would be perfectly happy to stay with Suzie 24/7 if it would be beneficial, and both Suzie and the staff seemed to be reassured by that.
Amidst all the medical drama I did get to enjoy a lovely family occasion on Friday as we celebrated the Wedding of my darling little sister and her delightful fiancé. We had previously arranged for a very dear friend to look after Suzie for the day, so she said she would pop in and spend a bit of time with Suzie at the hospital so that I could feel able to enjoy our family celebration. As it turned out, her 'pop in' was actually a 5 hour stay at Suzie's bedside, feeding her, attending to her personal care, accompanying her for a CT scan and generally doing everything I would have done. We are so blessed to have such a special friend. With the exchange of a few text messages and a phone call to the ward I was confident enough that Suzie was ok and I was able to relax and enjoy this important occasion with my wonderful family. It was a perfectly beautiful day. My sister and her new husband both looked gorgeous, and it was so lovely to share in their special day. I enjoyed some quality time with all my family and it was a truly blessed occasion. I arrived home soon after 9pm where I was joined by another very special friend who came round to have a nightcap with me...... Four and a half hours and a bottle or so of wine later she went home and I went to bed, where I slept soundly for over six hours. It was the perfect end to a special day.
With everything else going on I nearly forgot that, today (or should that be yesterday now?) I also celebrated my birthday! I was moved beyond words by the many cards, texts and Facebook messages I received, and I was delighted to see our Rowcroft Hospice fundraising get ever nearer our target.
So now, as we look towards the coming week, with all its uncertainty and apprehension, we rely ever more fully on God's sustaining grace to give us the strength we need. We don't know what the coming weeks will bring, but we hold fast to the knowledge that our lives are safely held in the tender hands of our loving God.
Thank you to all my wonderful friends and family. I love you all so much. xxxx